TORONTO - Parkdale Hockey Lads forward Kyle Welton's hat-trick wasn't enough to deliver a W - or a draw - this past Saturday night, and the reason, for the time being at least, remains a mystery. This mystery dates back to 1605, when a York-born Catholic named Guy Faulks attempted to blow up Britain's House of Lords with a stockpile of gunpowder. What does that have to do with adult recreational hockey, you ask? Well, it appears that 412 years after the fact, Guy Faulks has returned to dress as a spare for the Brockton Rockets. At least that's the name on this past Saturday's game sheet that corresponds to the mysterious spare player in an unnumbered black sweater who scored three of the Rockets six goals (before taking an unmatched roughing penalty, to boot).
Looking much, much younger than his 447 years of age, Faulks made his presence felt early in the game, potting the game's opening goal at the 5:47 mark of the 1st period (with Derek Dobson and Mike Pett assisting). Rockets roster player Bryan Eelhart made it 2-0 a minute later, converting a nifty feed from Dustin Harris to solve Lads goaltender Luis Freitas. Welton halved the lead before period's end, though, combining with Tommy Gough and Stu Muirhead to take care of business. The 2nd period saw an explosion of goals, as Faulks tallied unassisted, then later conspired with Blaine Tynes and spare Rodney Merchant (on loan from the Wheatfield Souldiers) to plot his second and third goals. Meanwhile, Tynes scored a goal of his own, while Welton kept the Lads in it with his second on the night. Welton completed his hat-trick late in the 3rd period, at which point a full-on Lads comeback seemed unlikely, particularly with some on the team dispirited by the presence of the ancient, yet suspiciously youthful, historic figure in the midst.
With the win, the Rockets secured a 3rd place finish in the final Regular Season standings, while the Lads settled for 4th. That means the Lads will face the reigning league Champions, the Hack, in the opening round of the 2017 UUHA Playoffs, while the Rockets will go up against the Gas Station Islanders. Both of those two-game series get underway this coming Saturday, Feb. 25 at Upper Canada College. Check the schedule for game times.